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KBO – Keep Buggering On

January 24, 2011

Does anyone else who saw this imagine Melanie Phillips’ eyes swivelling and small flecks of spit flying onto her monitor as she wrote it?  The concepts that she is fixated on are, let’s say, a little off the wall.  No, actually, off the chart.  The raving insanity chart.

Let’s pick through the sea of half-formed prejudices.  Phillips asks what homosexuality has to do with subjects like maths, geography and science.  Her stunning answer is everything.  Apparently, as part of a ‘gay agenda’  homosexuality will be forced on our children in every aspect of school.  Just what, you may ask, is a gay agenda?  Is it a list of topics for a meeting of the Musical Theatre Appreciation Society?  Or the lineup for a Pride march?

If we are to believe Phillips, it is the relentless march to destroy our concept of ‘normal sexual behaviour’.  Whatever that is.  Apparently, because children will learn that sea-horse males take the lead in rearing young, they will abandon any concept of heterosexuality and indulge in the kind of practices God and his botherers hate.  Who would have thought?  What I learnt as a child from sea-horses was that women didn’t necessarily have to do everything with children and men could play a part.  A small fact that played a large part in how I have acted as a parent.  And I became a parent by the heterosexual route that Phillips would class as normal, by the way.

And while we’re on the subject, who is supposed to be controlling this gay agenda?  My money’s on Peter Mandelson, in a big, pink castle somewhere:

“More gayness in home economics!  Destroy everything the Daily Mail stands for!  Force all Christians to have gay couples living in their houses!”

Sue Perkins on Twitter gives us this take on it (WARNING: RUDE):

Phillips’ logic on the ‘gay agenda’ leads her to the conclusion that because we tell children that it’s not evil to be gay and that people should be treated equally whatever their sexuality, that straight people will be in a minority and only a gay lifestyle will be seen as normal.  This is, of course, absolute bollocks.

Not having been aware of this woman before today, I finally got my clue as to where all this was coming from when she started banging on about Christian values.  Now, ‘Christian values’ means a lot of things to me, including dislike of homosexuality, misogyny and the ostracising of non-compliant people.  In fact, interestingly, the Bible treats homosexuality as a worse transgression than rape of a woman.  Don’t believe me?  Read about Sodom and Gomorrah (Genesis 19:5-8).  The problem with people who chunter about Christian values is that they don’t mean Christian values.  They mean Victorian values.  Not the same thing at all.

The rest of the article is what I see as a  typical Daily Mail spleen fest about drugs, minorities and foreigners.  I did like the bit about the ‘gay inquisition’ though.

“Nobody expects the Gay Inquisition!  Our chief weapon is surprise!  Surprise and fear, fear and surprise.  Our two weapons are…”

Incidentally, I’ve worked out where these attitudes come from.  From her photo, Melanie Phillips is obviously closely related to Postman Pat and we know there were no gays in that village.

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